Every year, as New Year comes closer, we tend to set goals for ourselves, come up with resolutions. For some, it might be getting a new job, graduating from college, completing your master’s degree, getting promoted, be more healthy and fitter and so on. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with these goals. They are perfectly fine. But in the midst of setting new goals for the coming year, we sometimes forget some very important goals; goals that define us as individuals, goals that aid us in getting where we want to be, who we want to be.
For instance, how about setting goals for yourself that involve taking care of the inner YOU, that involve making you a better individual, that involve making you a better you. This year, try to focus on the inner you. Now before you frown at your screen and start wondering what the heck I’m talking about, I’ve laid it down for you in two ways: Love and peace.
If, for this year you want to be in a steady relationship or say, get married, I salute you for that. But before diving into a serious relationship, focus on the love you have for yourself. Yes, that’s right, YOU. For some, this might sound selfish but quite on the contrary, it’s not selfish, it’s necessary. You cannot possibly expect for that significant other to treat you right if you are not doing so on your own. This goes even for your co-workers, friends, even family. Although appointments at spas, getting your hair done, getting your nails done, doing exercise, meditating and so on, do involve taking care of yourself, I’m talking about something way deeper. How you see yourself is ultimately how others see you. Loving yourself means believing in yourself. Believe that you can, that you will. Don’t listen to those who tell you you’re never going to make it, that you’re not good enough, that maybe if you had a higher-paying job they would appreciate you more, that maybe if you were thinner they would be into you. That’s a load of BS! Pure, gigantic BS. Your identity, your worth, DOES NOT depend on how much money you make, nor on what you do for a living, nor on your weight, your hair color, none of that. Your identity rests solely on God. Period. And that means you’re precious in every single way, more precious than pearls [Prov. 3:15]. You do not need someone else’s approval, you are enough just the way you are right now. More than enough.
With self-love comes self-respect. Part of respecting yourself means putting a stop to those who treat you ill. It means acknowledging your worth, and know when to draw a line and say, “Ok, that’s it for me. I deserve better”. You know how sometimes we see women hanging out with friends or boyfriends, or even husbands that constantly seek to humiliate them because that’s what they do to feel better about themselves. Folks that yell at women just because they were mad because dinner wasn’t ready and that’s an “acceptable excuse”. Folks that compare them with other women, saying “You need bigger boobs, you need to tan cuz you’re too white, babe you need to start dieting, you look fat, hey don’t forget I’m the one with a college degree here, your opinion is worthless” and so on. Despite that, these girls still stick around with folks like these and won’t put an end to this type of ill-treatment until they have self-respect. And self-respect is a process, you don’t obtain it overnight. You reach a point in your life where you finally realize your real worth and start respecting yourself. And once you get there, this is where you say “I’ve had it”.
Self-respect also includes realizing your own potential. There’s a story about a mama camel and her baby camel. The baby starts asking: “Mom, why are our feet so large?” The mama replies: “So that we can walk safely through the desert and have a steady pace on the sand”. The baby then asks: “And why do we have such long eyelashes?” To which the mom replies: “Our long eyelashes protect our eyes and help avoid getting sand in our eyes”. “Ok mama, but what’s the big hump on our backs for?” The mama replies: “So that we can store energy”. And then the baby says: “Mom, then why do we live at the zoo?”—Get the point here? So you see, each and every one of us has a potential, we just need to learn to make the best of it. It’s embracing our talents and putting them to work. This is self-respect, embracing yourself, following your passion. Don’t let your talents go to waste. You have talents, skills, and capabilities that you can use to develop your own potential. But remember, it’s not just about developing your potential, it’s also about putting it to good use. So make sure to utilize your unique set of talents, skills, and capabilities.
In order to achieve certain goals in your life, like the ones mentioned in the first paragraph, you first need to love yourself, respect yourself. Focus on the inner you first. The other goals will come, they are a consequence of you being at peace with yourself, of caring for yourself, of respecting yourself.
If anyone close to you brings too much negativity to the table, a lot of whining and complaining, a lot of toxicity….cancel your subscription to their issues. Perhaps many don’t realize it, but there are some folks that simply drain your energy with all their “I’m going to Italy for a month, I have to pack and I hate it, I have to stay at hotels and I hate it, eat at restaurants and I hate it, blah, blah, blah...” and they say it in the whiniest tone possible. It’s a trip to Italy! Give me a break! You should be happy about it. But no, this kind of people always manage to find something to whine about. These people find a problem in every situation, in every solution. Now, after such an encounter, do you feel good? Do you feel ecstatic? Of course not. You feel drained and probably not yourself. I’m not saying don’t be tolerant. I mean, come one, we all have issues (even thinking that we don’t have issues is actually an issue, lol), but when someone starts affecting you, you need to back away. Find peace. Because near that toxic person you will not find peace. Walk away from people and/or situations that steal your peace; this is acknowledging your worth, it’s respecting yourself.
You know how you ALWAYS want to be right? Yeah, I’m also guilty of that. It rocks being right and being able to say “See? I was right!” But…..but, sometimes it’s better to have peace than continue with an argument where you want to prove you are right. Choose your battles, sometimes it’s better to have peace. And if you’re actually right, eventually, that person will notice it. Not necessarily acknowledge it but still notice it.
All in all, you need peace and love to conquer those goals of yours. Having self-love, self-respect and peace will help you attain all other goals you may have in your life. Believe in yourself, believe that you can. Love yourself, respect yourself and the rest will follow.
As always, I would love to know your thoughts on this. Make sure to leave your comments below. Cheers! 🙂